


Yakko get’s lays.

by InvaderBB



Category: Animaniacs
Genre: Iblamethemilkficonthis, Please teach me to be funny, Yakko Warner - Freeform, crackfic, dumb, purposely made bad, welcome to the wrist fanfic on earth
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-09
Updated: 2021-02-24
Packaged: 2021-03-09 17:53:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 4,126
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27980301
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/InvaderBB/pseuds/InvaderBB
Summary: Warning: this story is dumb... also I might have seen the milk fic and decided to try to out do it.... I will most likely fail but I wanna try to make something just as cursed.
Comments: 20
Kudos: 24





	1. Chapter 1

It was a lovely meme day, the air was polluted and there were no chips in the pantry. 

So what did the eldest dog child thing decide to do... well you read the damn title, idk what this is, please let me go I have a husband, wife and kids. 

*Ahem* back to... was it a commercial... oh yeah on fish food. Only 99$ at your local pet shop. 

Shit wait no it was a story. 

Yeah this dog thing managed to steal 20 bucks from his psychiatrist wallet.. how he did well he poisoned him with a succulent rotisserie chicken.... also he might of accidentally thrown the vacuum cleaner at him thinking he was a spider. 

Ah well it was time to boost the economy with only 20 dollars, that can barely get Yakko anything. He usually doesn’t to buy chips because either he or his sibling would eat them all only for him to open the pantry the next day and be disappointed that they don’t have chips. 

Of course he could only afford the offbrand chips because reasons, so he decided to get a bag of legs chips. Which were at the top fucking shelf.   
So Miss gurl really stole a lady’s shopping cart, yeeted the baby out of the leg thing. And climbed up on it only for the damn thing to fall to the side because his dumbass didn’t realize the cart was empty. 

Yakko got on top of the now flipped cart and started climbing towards the chips, he passed by a goat, Lebron with his sprite cranberry, and the baby he yeeted... wait didn’t he yeet it to the other side of the store. 

Anyways he grabbed the chips, however this bish slipped and fell back onto a shopping cart passing by.

But his skin started to burn... this shopping cart was filled with.... Milk. 

He jumped 10ft in the air and ran so damn fast sonic was mad. 

“WHO THE FUCK BUYS THAT MUCH MILK-“ he screeched as he felt his flesh melting.. sadly he couldn’t buy his chips because his body disintegrated... his ghost float from his body.

This man didn’t know if he got some of the malk in his mouth or not so he screamed like a banshee, knocking shit down from aisles and even shoving himself into the freezer. It was chaos. 

Finally he came to his senses, he was in an ambulance. His brain was on acid for an hour that they thought he woke up dead. They had to get a supposed corpse off the just waxed floors. 

Meanwhile back at the water tower wakko was blaring replay while trying to eat the whole fridge. They had gone mad with hunger so they decided to start eating furniture.. starting with the couch, the sink, not the toilet though, but the toilet paper. Dot was smacking him with a broom which he managed to somehow devour, they wonders why they could never get a partner.

Back in the ambulance Yakko was ducking dying. Mf had drank milk and was tripping like fuck... and worst of all he didn’t have his knockoff chips. He was only 14 years old and he was gonna die of drinking milk by accident when he just wanted some chips. 

Suddenly the author was tired and decided to split this dramatic tale into parts.... so yeah expect more of this lovely story to be produced.


	2. Yakko in the ambulance

Yeah you read the title correctly, short recap this dumbass was tripping balls off of milk and thought his skin was melting. We good now. 

Alright back to our lovely tale about Yakko, who almost died.. hooray!

Anyways Yakko was laying on the cot... thing. Just staring up at the bloodied ceiling... oh yeah I forgot to mention there was another patient next to him in the ambulance. He had to have brain surgery but some genius decided to take a tomahawk to his head... he was still slightly breathing... just slightly. Just when it couldn’t get worst the driver ran over a speed bump and the back of the ambulance opened, Yakko’s roommate feel out the back... man’s twisted like the damn pretzel. 

Yakko slid out as well... fucking gravity man. However unlike the partly dead body he got out unscathed.

Back at the water tower Wakko was on the telephone “I would like to speak to a pharmacist please, I drank some bleach all the way down to the blue and now I’m starting to feel like Harry Potter’s.” He said, while holding his strawberry bleach. “No sir, your not supposed to drink bleach” the operator said. “Well I tasted like candy to me.” Wakko replied. “I know damn well the author didn’t try to add a Brandon Rogers reference in here” Dot muttered. “DOT SHUSH IM DYING OVER HERE-“ Wakko screeched. Dot yeeted a can of ravioli at him and wakko fucking died.

Rest in pepperoni. 

Back to the streets, Yakko got up out of his cot. “Well... that fucking sucked.” He muttered, half of his repository system was destroyed from the gentle impact of the asphalt. “They didn’t give me any damn morphine. What a waste of a mediocre chapter.” He said. 

He looked around the street and saw a club... suddenly he got a big brain idea.

He was gonna pick up a lover at the club... because you know that’s what you do at 14 with a partial concussion from falling out the back of a damn ambulance. 

Speaking of which the ambulance driver panicked because both of the patients were gone. Looks like he’ll have to kiss that raise goodbye.


	3. Da club

Yakko didn’t know if it was the concussion or the “alcohol” but whatever it was it was making his head hurt. 

Oh and as for flirting with peeps... apparently they don’t wanna be on the fbi watchlist... so he can kiss wanting a lover goodbye, suddenly a bouncer of the club pulled the Warner aside. “Kid you need to leave.” He grumbled. Yakko splashed his drink at him “IM OLDER THAN YOU” he screeched. 

The bouncer cocked an eyebrow “I know damn well you did not just throw cough syrup at me.” “This drank bitch!” Yakko said pouring himself another delicious glass of orange delsym cough syrup. “Twowhite cups and I got that drank could be purple could be pink, depending on how you mix that shit.” Yakko barked as the bouncer kicked him out of the club. “Come back when you’re 18 or with a permission slip from your parents!” The doors slammed behind him. 

“Well fuck.” Yakko muttered, he got up and started walking back to the tower with his cough syrup.

And because the author is to lazy the write the segment of his travel, she decided to write in a word from a non existent sponsor, roll the clip. 

Are you tired of being a disappointment, tired of your parents yelling at you to make something out of yourself, well my friends to I have the product for you introducing the life fixer 9000... it won’t actually help you but it’ll actually make you do something in your life.

Call the following numbers for this lovely product. 

5406622462 

5406363031

5408696474

Now back to the story.

Yakko kicked the door open... breaking his foot in the process “Or right it’s a pull not a push.”. Wait a go, you proved yourself to be more of a fucking idiot on cough syrup... what’s next tax fraud. Because he didn’t learn his lesson, he bust through the damn window... how the fuck can a water tower have a window. 

Dot was trying to follow a James Charles makeup tutorial on an old crate... because wakko are the damn couch. “Oh you’re back” she mumbled. “Where’s wakko” Yakko slurred. Remember this lightweight was till tipsy off cough syrup. “Oh um... he got into a fight with a can of ravioli.” She said. “Then he died, his body is in the closet.” 

“Oh okay” Yakko said as he walked over to the closet. “Wakko, it’s okay if you’re gay. Come out, I need to borrow a twenty.” He knocked on the door, which flew open to wakko in a full spa get up “I’ll come out when I’m done in the hot tube.” Wakko said eating one of the cucumbers on his eyes. “And I’m broke.” He slammed the door. 

Dot walked over to Yakko, noticing a twenty in his back pocket “Yakko why do you have money in your pocket.” She asked. “I was at the club.” Yakko replied. Dot face palmed “Yeah right and I’m Mary Poppins.”. “Where’s you magic umbrella” Yakko slurred. “Child are you drunk?” Dot asked. She grabbed his cup and noticed it was filled with cough syrup. “Yakko.. you’re honestly the only person I know who can get drunk off of cough syrup.” She glanced over to Yakko only to see him collapsed on the floor. “Well then.” She mumbled, throwing the cup at him. “I’m not helping you with your hangover. You need rehab.” 

Cough syrup is just kid alcohol.


	4. Yakko takes Wakko to McDonald’s... and they get arrested.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I’m back rats, welcome to chapter 4. 
> 
> I forget where we were at so.... let’s just add a segment of Yakko taking wakko to McDonald’s... look I know this is dumb but my brain needs a break, you think this lovely stuff makes it self.

Anyway Yakko stole someone’s van and drove wakko to McDonald’s. “Aight we getting happy meals cause we broke.” He said. Wakko was chewing on a random shoe he found. “Get me my nuggets.” He said “AND BETTER GET ME A BOY’S TOY” he screeched, every time they went there the peeps gave wakko a girl’s toy, not that he hated them, he just wanted the Pokémon cards they got now... also he might of eaten his barbie hair brush.. the faces scared him. Anyhow they got to the drive thru. Yakko ordered the food and a chocolate milkshake for himself. “I thought you couldn’t drink milk.” Wakko said. “It’s not milk, it’s a milkshake.” Yakko said, the person on the intercom sighed and said “Sir.... You’re a dumbass.” Yakko shot the intercom a glare. “I’m sorry did I ask for you’re opinion speaker.” He drove up to the window. “One of these days I’m gonna steal the speaker.... just because.” Yakko muttered. Wakko looked confused “Don’t you need a lot of upper body strength to lift that up though.”. Yakko glanced over to him “And what may you be implying?” He raised a brow. “Nothing.... Just you’re literally a toothpick and if I roll down the window I’m worried you’re skinny ass will fly out like a McDonald’s napkin... oh and you can’t lift.” Wakko said, his eyes looked so damn innocent... yet he said something so.... smart ass like. “.... Boi I’m literally 6 feet away from you, and we’re literally near an empty parking lot... I will drag you out and have a fist fight with you if you wanna be talking like that.” He said as he payed for their stuff with Monopoly money. “Please, have you seen how you fight... you look like a cracked out squirrel.” Wakko said, They pulled up to the window where their food was, Yakko grabbed the bag of wakko’s food and threw it at him... of course he ate the bag... freaking out it had his toy. 

“Looking for this” Yakko said as he held the cheap plastic toy and the playing card up to his brother... Wakko was about to snap, he reached up to try to grab it but Yakko kept it away from him... so he did what any rational person would do.... he lunged at his brother throwing the both of them out the windshield. Everyone got out of their cars and recorded the kids beefing, hoping to get some views on worldstar. Yakko yeeted someone’s child at Wakko who me might of eaten... or was that the tire... whatever it was they both can scream. Wakko yeeted someone’s car at Yakko, barely missing him, it was chaos. 

Finally they were driven home in a police car and dropped off at the water tower, they had gotten themselves in trouble with da popo because they caused a scene... even though the cops threw flash gernades at them... noteless the brothers were home, Yakko drank his melted milk shake as Wakko was vibing with his toy. “Welp.... we got banned for life from there... I’m gonna go drink vanilla extract and hope I go to sleep.” Yakko grabbed the cough syrup and vanilla extract and headed to his room. Wakko finally opened the packet that had his toy and Pokémon card in it.... only for it to say “Sike bish, I got it.... and I ain’t giving you it until I feel like it... Karma’s a bitch 😌💅✨~ Yakko.” 

Oh.... oh he gonna die. 

This was funnier in my head... why is this so boof-


	5. Yakko on cough syrup

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I finally figured out where I was at with this story.

_Yakko woke up in a... wait this place is empty.... and dark.. oh my god it’s his brain. There was a lot of weird stuff in there... from precious childhood memories to his last brain cells trying to get the last pizza roll.. it was a fucking mess. Is this what it’s like to trip on cough syrup. “Nah fam, you’re Brain’s always like this” a version of Yakko said, who was pouring himself a glass of anxiety juice.. “Oh... wait have did you know I was th-“ “we literally are in your head nimrod.” The other Yakko cut him off. He threw his glass of anxiety juice at Yakko. He hissed feeing is melt his skin “THE MILK IT BURNS” he screeched. Oh so anxiety juice is milk.... who would of known. Suddenly his last brain cells stared playing the monster mash.... or was it thriller whatever the hell it was it definitely wasn’t Christmas themed. Yakko was freaking out on the floor, he looked like a fish trying to do the dougie.  
_

_The clone Yakko just threw Monopoly money at him and screeched “GO CRAZY GO STUPID-“ which resulted in a mix of bad tiktok dances, dead memes, and someone screaming there was an imposter among them. What the ✨Fawk✨ 😃_

_Suddenly the other Yakko lifted him up like simba from the lion king and started singing a bootleg version of circle of life. Yakko suddenly muttered “Hey how you’re doing, I’m doing just fine, I lied I’m dying inside.” And then he just slithered away like a sneaky, sneaky snake.  
_

_He entered a different part of his brain that looked like a theater, stage and all. “CHOP CHOP WE GOT THE SHOW IN 5 SECONDS!” A version of Yakko wearing a stereotypical director outfit wore, he glanced at the real Yakko and snapped “WHY AREN’T YOU IN YOUR COSTUME?!” He grabbed Yakko and placed him in a out that liked like a male version of Juliet. “NOW GET TO YOUR PLACE” the director snapped. “Can you chill?!” Yakko snipped. “SORRY I’M PARTLY DEAF IN BOTH MY EARS, PLACE THE PYROTECHNICS ON THAT!” The director screamed. Hakko got into his place even though he had no idea what the fuck was going on. He look down and saw who was his Romeo... what the fuck it was his crush Max Goof what the hell. He just started sweating.. wait no stop your gonna look weird, wait why are you trying to impress this guy, he’s not the real deal... but still! Oh boy, he was having anxiety... he could barley say his lines. “Romeo, Romeo. Why did you kill yourself Romeo- SHIT” Yakko screeched. The imaginary Max was just staring at him confused... great now this is awkward.. why the hell did the author write this unnecessary bit. Yakko ran off the stage, fearing he would vomit out of panic in front of his crush even if this is in his damn mind.... it would still be embarrassing as fuck.  
_

_He entered another part of his brain, only this one was a padded room... wait... what the hell is this... Suddenly he felt a straight jacket on his body, he looked around and saw his parents.. wait no what the.. they kinda remind him of his parents only... why were they human. “Don’t worry, we’ll keep him and his siblings here.. you say they keep bringing up a water tower, them being part of Warner brothers, and even imagined meeting famous people... there’s a chance they may be insane.” A voice said through the glass of outside the room Yakko was in... okay this is getting weird.. “We’ll just, give them some drugs and hope for the best” there was a big ass needle in front of him now, or this weird human version of him as he saw in the glass of the syringe, this is way to dark. “Nighty night.” The person with the needle said.. odd she kinda looks like hello nurse... wait why can’t he say anything, oh right he had a muzzle on him... huh._

Suddenly Yakko woke out in his ball pit.... very confused... what the hell was that. He looked down and saw a empty bottle of cough syrup and vanilla extract next to him.. along with a bag of chips. “Aright that’s it, no more snacks before bedtime.” He muttered. Chile what the fuck is up with your brain, and shut yo skin tone chicken bone google chrome no home flip phone disowned ice cream cone garden gnome metronome dimmadome genome full blown monochrome student loan indiana jones overgrown flintstone x and y hormone friend zoned sylvester stallone sierra leone autozone professionally seen silver patrone obtuse rubber goose built like an oompa loompa nation wide is on your side bill nye gon cry looney tune full on goon long and skinny bugs bunny kinnie head ass tf up I will drag you. Copy pastas are the best.. specially if it comes to needing to find ways to roast someone.


	6. A cheesy Christmas

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Merry chrysler peeps enjoy a cursed page of a cursed fic as a gift from your local moron. (Warning this may be sloppy because one of my arms fell asleep halfway through this.)

Yakko was freezing to death, he forgot to pay for the heat in the tower so they had to use a fire to keep warm... no they don’t have a fire place, so they might die, but it’s Christmas Eve so they didn’t care. Wakko was eating some of the lit fire wood... ok what the fuck is up with this kid and eating things that ain’t food. “Hey share the welfare” Yakko said as he grabbed the piece of burning wood and ate some as well.... ok um hey author why are you making these kids do this. “Bro I have nothing better to do... plus I’m freezing my ass off” the author interjected she looked up from her phone and bundle of blankets. “Just enjoy the story that I have no planning for.”. 

We cut back to the sibs... eating roasted can’s...... yeah let’s not question that. Suddenly there was a knock on the tower door.. I wonder who that may be, could it be the stereotypical love interest coming by our lovely protag’s home. Bingo, bullseye, right on the money because here he is! Max good entering the tower with gifts for the sibs. Yakko glanced down from him as Wakko and dot place the presents under the tree. Max sat down next to Yakko who was burning... no literally this idiot walked into the fire, his skin was melting off. 

“Uh.. Yakko?” Max said. Yakko had gotten lost in his brain that he thought he had gotten burned alive. The dog toon smiled and handed a gift to the Warner “Merry Christmas.” Yakko looked at the clock and saw it was midnight... well might as well open one for tonight. He opened the gift and it was.. a snow globe of him and Max... huh... not really something I expected the author to write in this type of story... is... is she alright we might need to check on her. Anyways there was a mistletoe above both Yakko and Max. “Let the ship sail already!” Dot said “Seriously have you seen the last chapter, it’s clear you’re not straight!” Wako said. Yakko blushed and mentally cursed his siblings. Suddenly there was chanting “Do it, Do it, Do it do it do it do it” 

“Fuck it” Yakko mumbled and kissed Max on the lips, which resulted in the chanting peeps screaming with joy..  
“Isn’t it weird to have a random kiss in this story.. I thought this was a crack fic.” Wakko asked “The author told me she wanted to just have fun... and she says Bi Max and Yakko rights.” Dot replied. 

Yakko pulled away and held Max’s hand. “Merry Christmas to you too Maxie...” he mumbled. 

Bro this was cheesy as fuck and not the best... sorry lads I’ll write a better chapter soon.


	7. The return

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So the author of this tale has gone missing... which is surprisingly important because how are we supposed to get more brain rot material... so the Warner’s went out to find where she has gone. (Stupid comeback)

Yakko was t posing in the abyss.... wait what who is writing this. “The author hasn’t written in this in nearly 2 months.” Dot said, as she glanced at the date this tale was last written on. “What ever happened to them?” Wakko asked as they were eating milk ice cubes. “This story has gotten good reception... why did it go quiet.” Dot puzzled. “Maybe she went missing.” Yakko suggested. “Are we really gonna dedicate a chapter to look for whoever is writing this story?” Dot asked “Well, we have nothing better to do. Plus the Christmas special was a little bland.” Yakko said. 

The Warner’s starting playing scooby doo music. They started scouting the movie lot in search of the author. They checked everywhere, they even checked Ralph’s brain... yes he surprisingly has a brain. But no such luck. “Who they pulled a vanishing act just like with all the previous cast members.” Wakko said as he slurred his cup of melted popcorn butter. “GUYS I FOUND A CLUE” Dot said as she held up a single footprint in the shape of a croc. “Dot that can be any footprint” Yakko said as he was interrogating a pigeon who was begging him to let him go back to his family. “But this was left by a rainbow croc.... and there was something titled “the gay croc” next to it.... who else likes to call their rainbow crocs the gay crocs?” Dot said. Yakko and Wakko both looked at each other.. they then understood what she meant.

“Where the hell is the chef boyardee beefaroni?!” Wakko screeched, he already ate five shelves and three slushees... homie needs their food. “Wait so, you said they were here?” Dot asked, shining the flashlight in the cashier’s eyes. “Yes, but I don’t know where they said they were going. And can you get that light out of my eyes, it’s broad daylight why are you even wasting that battery life?!” The cashier said. Yakko hit the cashier on the head with a case of beefaroni. “MY PRECIOUS!” Wakko said as he pounced on the cashier, a cartoon dust cloud formed as he was getting his food. “Well shoot... we’ll never find them.” Dot sighed. She sat on the conveyer belt bumping into the register. “Hey look!” She pointed to the trash can, it had a crumpled receipt. “Hey who’s is this?” Dot asked the cashier who was barley alive. “That’s their receipt... they didn’t want it because they said it was just a bunch of beef jerky and Dr Pepper.” The cashier said. “Perfect! We got a name!” The Warner’s cheered. “Wait... you don’t even know the person’s name??” The cashier asked “Nah why you think we asked you.” Yakko said as they left the Walmart. “WAIT YOU HAVEN’T PAID FOR YOU- oh... nevermind.” 

The Warner’s went around town asking where they might have seen them or even know them. “Damn... a name isn’t good enough.” Yakko said. “We’re back at square one.” Wakko screeched, doctor scratchnsniff walked over to them and cocked a brow. “Kids what’s wrong?” He asked. “We can’t find them!” They yelled, “May I ask who?” The toons handled the human handed him the receipt. “You’re looking for jerky and soda?” The doctor asked “no the person who bought it!” Yakko said. “Oh, well I had her in my office earlier, just venting about life, she said she was heading back to her hideout.” The doctor explained. “Oh... you wouldn’t of happened to know where would you?”. 

There was a harsh knock on the door, the odd toonsona got up from her work. “Who is it?” She called “ITS US OPEN UP!” Voices screech. “Oh it’s you three.” The door opened and the Warner’s pounced on her. “WHERE THE HELL HAVE YOU BEEN!?” Yakko screeched “WHAT HAVE YOU BEEN DOING” Dot squeaked “DO YOU HAVE ANY SNACKS?!” Wakko screamed. “Guys chill, life just caught up with me, I’m still gonna continue this. It just takes time to make these you know.” The author stated “hey you can stop calling yourself the author right?” Yakko said. “Oh alright... I guess I should state my name, my dumbass name is BB and I’m just vibing.” 

I’m back bitches.


End file.
